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| Shooby-doo-wop,and scobby snacks, met a fly boi
and i can't relax
"Why are you so far away?" she said
"Why won't you ever know that I'm in love with you
That I'm in love with you"
I like it when you think out loud
the things you say when you know
there is no one else around
"Show me how you do that trick
The one that makes me scream" she said
"The one that makes me laugh" she said
There is no one like you
and in a world of black and white
you are the only on in color
I wanna be the one you run to
I wanna your only one
I wanna be the one you turn to
I wanna be the one.
You're the only one who understands what I've given you,
you've given back
I wish for you on a fallin' star,wonderin'
where you are, do I ever cross your mind?
There's nothing we can do about
The things we have to do without
The only way to feel again
Is let love in
She wears a smile, heart on her sleeve
Don't give a damn what the world thinks of me
She tells me it's all good
She's happy with a bad seed
Happy to be misunderstood
Dear God, the only thing I ask of you
Is to hold him when I'm not around,
when I'm much too far away
Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired,
I'm missing you again oh no
Once again...
Say it ain't so, I will not go,
turn the lights off, carry me home
I love you. | | |
| Agony I never realized that this pain would come back. I thought I was done with it. I thought it was gone and I had no care for it and that the scar was even completely gone. Ha. Guess you can never get rid of the past, it's your's to treasure forever...which I often do, but I usually blot out how much pain I was in. How hurt I was. How much I despised everything about him when I realized what he left me as...a blubbering ball of nothing that was my former being. I was no longer Gretchen Suzanne Karcher, the person I am so proud to annouce to everyone that I am...I was lost and empty and hopeless. And now, even though every hope, prayer and dream of mine has come true, that pain still lurks ready to bring me to my knees again. How could someone be so heartless as to manipulate me and change me to something that was nothing? I mean after I got through it, I was and am a stronger person but the fact that the memory and pain can be triggered by simply reading a few fucking words can still affect me so...it's NOT FAIR...but who said life was fair? You move on and get through it and now I'm the happiest person ever, except when that jumped out today and yanked my gut into agony. But that's the way life is...I just hope people stop putting so much stock in the agony they feel at the moment and just look to the future, it may look like a black hole but it gets brighter as you get closer, I don't know how I KNOW that things will get better but I just do...I really do. | | |
| I'm very lazy. I know and accept this fact glady.
However I find my laziness very contradictory.
For example, today I knew I had to pee around 3ish but I held it all the way to and through a lab practical (1.5 hours) and for another 1.5hours just sitting at the library, because I didn't want to get up and walk all the way (500 feet or so) to the bathroom.
Here comes the contradictory part. I held it all the way to the point that I had to RUN to the bathroom to keep from pissing myself.
I exerted so much more energy, running and clinching to keep from peeing my pants than it would have taken just to get up a few hours earlier and go pee with a nice easy walk and no rush.
Why does the the will to not exert a tiny bit of energy overcome the knowledge that you will HAVE to exert more energy later?
Same with cleaning...of course I could wash the two dishes I have right now, before all the food dries and sticks to them, but I'd rather let 20 dishes pile up and then wash them all when the situation is too extreme and the pains I go through are much greater.
Guess we all just worry about the now and not the future. | | |
| You ask me if there'll come a time
when I grow tired of you;
never my love, never my love.
You wonder if this heart of mine
will lose its desire for you;
never my love,
never my love.
What makes you think love will end
when you know that my whole life
depends on you?
You say you fear I'll change my mind
I won't require you,
Never my love,
never my love.
How can you think love will end
when I've asked you to spend your
whole life with me? | | |
| Friday night I experienced a feeling I had never felt before. It's hard to explain, but I was overwhelmed with this feeling of being whole again and completely comfortable and happy and sad all at the same time. It was the first time in four days that I had seen Ross and when we hugged each other, I suddenly never wanted to let go or be without him. I know...four days is like pssssh...nothing...but for some reason it was like an eternity was over. I mean I'd gone months without seeing Greg, when I was dating him and thought that I was in love with him and that he was "the one." But I never felt like that when he came home, I mean I was very very happy, but nothing like this overwhelming connection and feeling. There's just something between Ross and I that I know is real, and maybe I'm jumping the gun again...but I really don't think I am. It's not that I need someone in my life...but now that I have him I don't know what I would do without him. I'm very happy in myself, as is he, we both are fine on our own and we love our lives and all, but when we're together it's like the world suddenly disappears and it's just us. And it's almost scary how alike we are. I don't know how else to explain it...words don't really work...but it's something like true love and soul connection. Ross said it really interestingly, something like, 'I remember things before and that I really liked my life...but now, I just can't imagine life without you in it.' And I know that sounds almost cliche, but for some reason when he said it last night, it was exactly what we both were feeling. Things just wouldn't feel natural with us not being together...some thing are just right...and one of them is Ross and I in love and together. | | |
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